Sunday, April 22, 2007

10 things I hate

(A local publication has a "10 things I crave" column in each issue. I have a different take on the genre.)

10 Things I Hate

1. Packing Peanuts
Free with any purchase in the Pottery section of Ebay.

2. Rats
Under your bird feeder, Peoria

3. Music with no soul - Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, George Michael, et al.
Borders, Barnes & Noble, Co-op.

4. Free-with-Chicken-McNuggets big plastic toys meant to entertain kids for several minutes and then be thrown in the landfill.
McDonald's.

5. All those horrible plastic objects made by slave lablor and meant to entertain us for 2 minutes and then be thrown in the landfill.
Wal-mart.

6. Cell phones.
Sprint stores, Cellular Connection, etc.

7. Broken bottles on sidewalks.
Moss Ave., Peoria

8. Coffee that tastes like dirt.
Restaurants and cafeteria's throughout central Illinois.

9. Super high-heeled, razor-point shoes that prohibit women from running if assaulted.
Macy's, Bergner's et al.

10. I"m still thinking.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Look out world, Monday's coming' and Laura is ready for it!

Jennifer said...

Puppies, I hate puppies.
Okay, just joking. I hate mosquitos. (Not original I know... but they seem to seek me out).
Having a teenager I am beginning to hate sulking and sullen looks.

Jonathan Ahl said...

I really like your concept here. Intelligent parody is a sign of a high level of humor, in my opinion.

That said, I would like to take small exception with one of the things you hate. There was a time where Mariah Carey's music had soul. Maybe not lately, but her MTV Unplugged special/CD when she was backed by a band including the SNL horns of the late 80's/early 90's is actually a great record.

But that may not be enough to lift the tag of her music having no soul.

Laura McGowan said...

Parody - and even moreso sarcasm - in written form are often lost on many readers, so thanks! I guess that could even be true for live parody, when you think about people going on the Colbert Report thinking it would be a serious interview. BTW, I really don't know that much about Mariah, so my comment is probably unfair. I just have a memory of some really bad song being played on the radio a lot. Now I can't even remember what it is…